13 days....
13 days i get to be a wife for 3 days
I get to feel like a matter in my husband eyes for a few days and feel devoid til December til I see him yet again for maybe 3 days once more....
I have had a few relationships .Only 2 started them long distance.
Only one of them (current one) transitioned to being in-person (after about a year dating )I stated to my then friend( now husband) developing into a lover/BF I can not allow myself to get involved in a LDR .In my opinion, the longer a relationship goes without some form of in-person component , the more the relationship becomes about your fantasy of your relationship than about the real person who is your partner.You aren't interacting with their in-person quirks and annoyances, things like that. You're idealizing them, and they're idealizing you. The person you're falling in love with: that idealized version of your partner, no tthe real person who is your partner .
For that reason, I have a rule: if there isn't a concrete solution to why you're separated in the first place within 6 months, then it's never going to be a real relationship. That doesn't mean it wont last for a while, it means it wont ever be a serious life-partner type relationship.I also stated to my husband before marriage I won't do LDR we either make this work or we don't do it at all. I won't be a LD wife/gf/lover to anyone. I've waited my entire life for completeness, security, the wholeness of a 'family" component being isolated and separated just makes me worse.
That said ... that doesn't mean you can't have a successful long distance relationship .It just means you have to recognize the different aspects for what they are, and address them for what they are. Either I'm your full time wife or I'm some girl you're screwing hundreds of miles away. Take your pick so I know where I stand.
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